She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
