the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
