You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize