true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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