dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm home, then i'll come over
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice