remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
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I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.