bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?