do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice