College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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