Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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