no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
