Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
