Ambien. No doubt about it.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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