Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
