i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
