Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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