Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
