Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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