He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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