Christians are straight up FREAKS
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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