He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
