Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
