That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
