can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Watching her eat just hurts me
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
