Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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