We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize