Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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