that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
