If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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