i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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