ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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