Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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