Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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