Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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