Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
