so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
we should paint friendship bongs
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