did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
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...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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