Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
