Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
