her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
