If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
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He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
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Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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