Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
