therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
now i know why i became what i already was.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
