You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
