but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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