we're blogging at a bar
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
