end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
