As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Soap is not a condiment
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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