Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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