Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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