Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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