new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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