Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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