Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
