bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
