i don't like sucking hair
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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