so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
