chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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