I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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