a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize