He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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