You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize