I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
