It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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