We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
